Slowing Down....

The first few weeks back at work went as smoothly as could be expected with only the occasional baby-sitter mix up, ingredient for supper forgotten at the store or load of laundry left in the washer. Then came the dreaded week. The week I had feared since I started this job six months ago, the only other person that works in this office, beside me and the owner, quit. Gone, gone were the days of avoiding one or two calls while trying to catch up on paperwork. Gone were the days of conversations about good restaurants, customers attitudes, and the weather. Gone were the days where I went home happy and woke up excited about getting to work. In came the days of constant phone calls from people that barely knew what type of car they had, let alone the type of part that they needed. In came the days of trying to inventory a car, answer the phones, trying to understand what the boss is harping on, dealing with family issues all at the exact same time.
While I thought this major change would be a recipe to for disaster, it didn't.... for the first week. Now, when I thought a routine would have started to form and thing would be calming that exact opposite is happening. My husband has stepped up and started helping out a majority of my errands (bank, post office, city utilities, etc) and he has even cooked supper several times in the past week. Even with all his help this last week has been really tough. I don't think I could have made it with out all of his support.

My goal for this week.... learning to slow down and deal with the stress of work and home. Learning to keep the two separate and making sure that any problems with work don't spill over on to the home front.

Quote:
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."  ~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris

Week 2 Hump Day

It's Wednesday evening, both the kids are in bed, and the hubby is out doing his work thing. Time to relax, except I am sitting on my sister-in-law's couch killing time because surprise, surprise our AC unit went out yet again. The day we brought Levy home from the hospital it went out, that was a nice $150 bill and here we are not two months later and it appears that the fan has locked up. It stopped working twice last summer, once was just four hours before my son's birthday party. Just add that to list my headaches this week has had.

Diary of a Working Mother

Monday was my first official day back at work and this has presented a few challenges.

1)  Two kids, two babysitters, too far to drive: Levy is easy, he is going to a daycare and can therefore start at anytime. Blaine on the other hand will be entering the first grade in three weeks and it gets expensive (translation: pointless to work) if I pay for both to go to that daycare. The economical solution is to shuttle Blaine between different relatives for the remaining three weeks. Now we HAVE to be out of the house by  7:20am (that includes running into the relatives house and the daycare without stopping) in order for me to get to work by 8:00am and the afternoon trip takes 45 minutes.

2) Breastmilk: Again the most economical (and healthy) way to feed Levy is with breastmilk, but in order to get the 5 four ounce bottles he needs while at daycare I am having to pump every two hours all day and night and I still barely squeak by getting enough milk together. I am using two pumps, taking Reglan (a prescription black boxed by the FDA) and drinking enough water that I should float away. I want desperately to provide what my baby needs, but I just feel that between the stress of work and home I won't be able to keep up and I do not want my baby suffer as a consequence. I have almost come to terms with the idea that I will have to begin suplimenting  with formula at some point in time, but for right now my goal is to provide only breastmilk for as long as I can.

Two nights ago my son decided that "The Little Engine That Could" would be his bedtime story and every since then my moto has become "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,"

Boys Say the Dandest Things

In the past two days my husband and my oldest son have each made comments that have completely blown my mind.

First, my son....

Blaine "Mommy, do you know why me and you are unlucky?"

Me "We're unlucky?"

Blaine "Yeah we're unlucky because we're McMillans, but you're an Allbritton now, so now your lucky."

   A little background. Blaine's last name is my maiden and has not yet been changed to my husband last name. This conversation also took place two after we had just been to the McMillan Family Reunion. If you knew anything about my very dysfunctional family you would know what it is funny.

Next, my husband.....

Tim " I saw a friend of your in town this morning."

Melinda " Who?"

Tim " Jim and a guy he works with."

Melinda "Really! Does Jim still have that forest growing on his chin?"

Tim "Melinda, really? I was inside the building, how should I know what kind of car he was driving?"

Melinda ?????

    I just can't seem to believe that he was listening to me, I think the TV had his attention.

Jam Packed Week Ahead

I have officially made my decision: I am returning to work on July 18!

That being said I now have just one week to prepare for my return to the business world. To a world of dealing with rude customers, a confused boss, not having enough time to do anything, and not seeing my kids or husband for most of the day. I have found a daycare close to the house where Levy will start visiting Monday and I have made arrangements to shuffle Blaine between relatives until he starts 1st grade in August. I have this one week left to cram in the last few items on my to-do list. 

To-Do List:

-start Levy's baby scrapbook

-work on Blaine's scrapbook

-get wisdom teeth removed

-get house clean and prepared for neglect

-RELAX WITH MY HUSBAND

..... 5 days left.

P.S. I still working on the weight management / get back into shape goal. It isn't going that great. I better add that to the list.

Back to Reality

We successfully made it back to Georgia in one piece and with everything we left with, I hope. The Reunion / Vacation was great and needed by both Tim and I.

Now the rest of the week will be filled with days of laundry, getting Levy back on a routine, and making sure everything is running smoothly. Blaine is happy to be back, but all he does is talk about how much fun he had swimming, playing with Owen, and Daddy hurting his foot on a bee. When he isn't reminiscing about everything he did he asking "how long til we go back?". I am so glad he enjoyed it.

Family Reunion

My family, extended family, and extended-extended family have a 3 day get together every other year in Ft Payne, AL at the De Soto State Park. It is 3 days of hiking in the woods, swimming in the river, and generally getting reacquainted with everyone. The reunion has its perks and its drawbacks. 

This year has been a lot more fun because in addition to bring Tim for the first time (he now understands my craziness) we also brought the baby. We took a side trip on the way up here to Chattanooga, TN and rode the Incline Railway to Lookout Mountain. Blaine and Tim both loved it, though I am not sure if they enjoyed the ride or making fun of me being terrified. The next day was a clan excursion to High Falls Park, it was a 45 minute drive but well worth it. The high light: a 25 ft jump into the river, but that was not the scary part. The scary part was the climb back up the cliff you just jumped off of. You had to use a rope to pull yourself up and you really learn how much upper strength you really have. Once you got past the first 10 ft of vertical climb you reached the ledge and saw how frayed the rope was that you were depending on. Still I did it twice.

Levy slept through the entire trip, I later found out that was the result of his first formula bottle which was provided by his Great-Grandmother. Blaine had a blast catching a few tadpoles and making friends with some of the other visitors to the falls. It was a fun family outing for all of us.

After Baby Aftermath

My husband and I decided a long time ago that a good way to keep the romance alive in our relationship was to set aside at least one day per month to do something just for use without Blaine or friends or anybody... just us. We decide to make the day the 28th of each month call it our "Anniversary". Instead of a yearly anniversary we basically have a monthly one (no gift required, but appreciated). Yesterday was officially 5 year & 5 month anniversary. For a change of pace (and because we just didn't want to be away from the kids)we took them out to McDonald's (again, another family first) and enjoyed watching Levy sleep and Blaine run around. I also figured out what precious newborn has reaked havoc on my body. Now, my body wasn't perfect by any means before I got pregnant, but I was in decent shape. I am not overweight now, just wayyyyyy out of shape.

Evidence #1 (Ok, I was really gonna upload the photos, but a "Server Rejected" message keep showing up, lucky me!!!)

I now have a "gift" to hopefully give my husband next month. I have a goal to get back into shape. I know that it will take more than a month, but I hope that this month will be the first step to get back into a healthy routine. While working out at an adult gym is probably out of the question, I will be able spend more time with the kids playing int he yard and at the park to get into shape. Two birds with one stone. I can do it, I can do it.

The Cake Monster

Last Saturday Blaine and I had a blast baking a red velvet cake for Father's Day. Blaine enjoyed measuring the water and oil that went into the cake mix, but the blender scared him a little. Of course we used white cream cheese icing and to top it off.... blue sprinkles. Yes, my son made his father a patriotic, red-white-and-blue Father's day cake. Tim was excited to get it and proudly showed it off at a friend's cookout that Sunday.

Now for the painful part...... eating the cake. Oh, don't think that is tasted bad, on contrar, it tasted great and it's chock full of CALORIES. I just had a baby two weeks before hand and needless to say I am not back in the best shape of my life. Far from it. And here I go letting the 5 year old talk me into baking a cake for his Dad knowing good and well that a majority of that cake will eventually be making it's way to my plate. And boy did it! Over 3/4 of that glorious, delicious, and totally loaded down with calories cake made it to my plate.

And if it doesn't watch it's back I'll be eating that final piece tonight !! 

1 vs 100

Ok, so it actually wasn't 100, it was only 5, but it was still just a nerve racking as if it had been 100. 

The outing for today was to go to the Airport Park and expend some pent up energy running around the playground. We met a friend and her two yr old there and prepared for a little relaxing. About a half hour later a few other parents and there small children showed up which got me excited because I wanted Blaine to have someone his age to play with. I didn't realize that the two of the "children of the corn" had just arrived.

First the little girl sat right next to me, like touching my leg close, pointed at my newborn and said "cute baby". Scooting away I said thanks. She ran off. Then her twin brother runs up and starts eyeballing my newborns pacifier. Before I could stop him he snatched it up and it took both his grandmother and me to pry his hands off of it. While all this is going on my five year old is running and screaming about Ben 10 at the top of his lungs. 

After recovering from that scare the next little girl that ran up and told me I had a cute baby was easy to handle. Then all hell broke loose with my friend's two yr old being pushed down by the second little girl, the Corn boy snatching my son's watch and running for the hills with it and every other child at the playground joining in on the chase to catch him, including Blaine.

An eventful first trip to the playground.... and Blaine wants to go back Tuesday. He said "It's a date Mom!"

Happy Father's Day

First off, Happy Father's Day to all the: fathers, dads, daddys, papas, pops, and pas in the world. I hope everyone took the time to go see their dad, give him a call, or just sit in quite reflection if he is no longer alive. 

My step-father is the person that I really consider to be my "Father". Looking back on my childhood I now understand that all he did was to my benefit even if I didn't know it at the time. Even when I moved out and did several things that hurt both him and my mother, they were still there to take me back when I needed them most. When I found out I was pregnant with Blaine, he was there to help, give me a lecture on sex, and provide a home for my baby. When I met Tim he was there to interrogate him and make sure he was a good man. He never differentiated between me and his sons, we were all his kids. He never treated them better or gave them special treatment.

My biggest wish is that he was around to meet Levy. I am sure that he is looking down from above and I hope that the way I have lived my life makes him smile.

Feeding the ducks

I took both the boys to the local church to feed the ducks. I have talked about taking Blaine there for months, but I never could seem to find the time to actually go. Yesterday afternoon we gathered up all the bread and french fries we could find and loaded up in the car. As soon as we pulled into the front parking area next to the pond the ducks and geese flocked around the car and Blaine was very excited as we got out of the car.

 Five minutes later my soon-to-be six year old was holding on tight to my legs and yelling at the ducks to step back. There are several different species of goose and duck that leave at this pond during the warmer months and none of them have any sense of personal space. The white ducks would get so close they would stand on my feet and the Canadian geese, who are only inches shorter than Blaine, would stare him down until he threw the bread at them. Several times whole slices of bread where thrown into the feeding frenzy before I could stop him.

In the end it was a great outing! Blaine eventually overcame his fear and he even ended up naming a few of the more stubborn ducks that wouldn't leave him alone. It was a bonding experience to say the least and although Levy slept though it I am sure he had a good time.

Social Outings

Having a newborn at home has opened up a world of new experiences from midnight feedings and diaper changes to a redistribution of household chores. It appears to have also changed our social circle and social outings.

My husband and I were both very young we began dating and although Blaine was less than 6 months old at the time we still managed to go out to eat, see the occasional movie, and hang out with friends. Over the past few years it has become standard practice to have Blaine with us and most of our friends, both those with and without kids of their own, have come to accept that. We had hoped to assimilate Levy into this same routine, but alas I do not think that it will be as easy this time.

Our first attempt to go to a friend's cookout was.... awkward. It was a small get together and every adult there has kids of their own (they are all at least 2 yrs or older), but no one felt secure enough to even touch the baby. I got the feeling that while everyone there was happy to meet Levy, but they were not entirely comfortable interacting with him. I hope that in a few weeks or months our friends will be more open to touching and playing with him.

Learning to Play

I came to a realization yesterday that is both eye opening and heartbreaking at the same time. I took my oldest son, Blaine, out for ice cream yesterday and while we sat on the bench beside talking about our favorite Bey-blade and Pokemon I realized.... we had never done that before! 

Two weeks after I gave birth to Blaine I returned to school and then started a new job only four weeks after that. For the next four years I juggled college, a full time job, and a family. I always thought I did a pretty good job: the house was clean, supper was cooked, my grades were good, and I stayed on top of paperwork at the office. Yesterday showed me that I had failed in one major area: being a good mother to my son. 

Yes, did take him to the occasional birthday party and bought him a toy when shopping at Wal-Mart. I read books with him before bed time and talked about cartoons when we traveled in the car. But I never took him to the park just to run around with him, I never actually sat down and watched cartoons with him, I never helped him play with the toys we bought. Point blank, I failed at being a mother.

Now that I have Levy around and time off from any other responsibilities besides my kids and my family I can see what I have been doing wrong for all those years. As of today my goal in life is not to start a career or be debt free in 6 years. My goal in life is to be a good mother to both my boys and a good wife to my husband. My goal is go to the park and slide down the slide, catch lightening bugs in a jar, watch cartoons, and spend every precious moment I can with my two kids.

Cloth Diapers 101

After a week of being spoiled with disposable diapers I have realized that the time has come to finally break out the good ole' cloth diapers. Luckily, the last remaining portion of Levy's umbilical cord fell off during the night so I don't have to take precautions to avoid it.

My first try at putting on the cloth diaper went relatively well and after only a few small adjustments it was securely on and ready to go. Then came the waiting game, which didn't last long. As soon as I knew he was done doing his business we took a trip to the changing table to switch out diapers. 

I was expecting the present in the diaper, I was expecting to have a struggling baby to contend with, I was not expecting that same baby to decide he needed to pee a the precise moment I removed his diaper. After containing that flood I assessed the damage. My shirt, his clothes, the changing table, a stack of clean diapers and the floor had all been given a golden shower. Apparently he wasn't done! Round two got pee on his face, the other side of the changing table, and even more on me. 

Notes to self: 

1)     Make sure to keep him covered at all times! 

2)     And a full pee and poo diaper doesn't mean he is done.

Hopefully the second cloth diaper change will be less eventful.

Mommy's are Mammals

Today is second day that our newest addition has been home and ever since he was born I have managed to breastfeed him without drawing too much attention from Blaine. But today while in the middle of an afternoon feeding Blaine comes running into my bedroom to tell me a piece of information that just couldn't wait. He never gets it out. The conversation went a little like this.....

Blaine: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Feeding the baby, why?"

Blaine: "What are you feeding him?"

Me: "Milk"

Blaine: "How?"

Me: "Mommy makes milk now to feed the baby. I fed you the same way."

Blaine: "Nuh-uh, only mammals make milk. You aren't a mammal,..... are you mommy?"

Me: "Yes, Blaine I am a mammal. People are mammals"

Blaine: "Ok"

And then he ran from the room because I lost his attention.

I know to make sure to cover up more from now on, just as soon as the house gets cool.

SIDE NOTE: Our first day home with Levy can be summarized in a short, but very descriptive three word phrase "Broken AC Unit". And since we live in the deep South and it's well into one of the hottest summers we have seen a quite a while it is safe to say "yeah, it's hot!!"

WE HAVE A BABY !!!

"Good things come to those who wait."

For the past few weeks I have said that out loud to myself over a hundred and repeated in my mind another thousand times. I guess that is true because early, early yesterday morning my family and I were introduced to our newest addition, an 8lb 9oz bouncing baby boy with the name Levy Grayson.

While I had hoped to make it through the delivery process without the use of pain medicine, primarily because of the circumstances of our first son's birth, I eventually did ask for an epidural. Several of mine and my husband's closest friends and family stayed at the hospital well into the night to meet Levy.

We have nearly 36 hours with precious bundle of joy and he is settling into the family every well. Our oldest son was amazed by the machines in the delivery room, but fell asleep a few hours before his brother was born and didn't get to meet him until the next day. He was over joyed by the "Sibling Gift" that Levy got him. Several days prior to going into labor I had told Blaine that Levy wanted to get him something and while I pretended to cover my ears he told my belly what he wanted. Blaine smiled from ear to ear when he saw the blue gift bag laying beside Levy's bed. We are making sure to involve him in everything and I hope that with a little patience and understanding we will be able to get Blaine used to Levy being around.

Crying baby, guess it's time to eat!

The Waiting Game....

So I attended my "weekly/twice weekly/feels like everyday of the week" doctor's appointment yesterday and surprise surprise..... nothing had changed!

I was advised to keep my appointment for next week and told again that I will probably be induced on the 7th. However, after talking with the doctor for a while longer she decided to give me a "helping hand" for going into labor naturally. She did the exact "maneuver" that helped my mother-in-law have two of her kids and I am sure that it has helped millions of other women around the world go into labor.

Here I am almost 24 hours later and what has taken place during that time..... nothing! Nothing except phone calls and text messages from numerous family members trying to find out if I've started yet. Nothing except for every person I see at work, home, and everywhere in between asking me if I've started yet. Nothing!

All I can say is...
"Good things come to those who wait and I know that Levy is well worth the wait"

Memorial Day

First off, Happy Memorial Day to everyone!!! My husband and I took a moment to stop by my father's grave yesterday and leave some flowers in memory of his time in service. It is hard to believe that Dad died over 4 years ago, time has really flown by.

We spent a majority of the day at a local state park and a small waterpark with our son and several of our friends. Blaine had fun swimming with their children and riding down the big slide with his aunt. My husband was sweet enough to sit out on all the fun and keep me company by the pool. We were afraid of what might be in the water and didn't want to put the baby at risk, so there was no water time for me.

I guess it is back to work tomorrow, unless by some miracle Levy decides he want to be born tonight. We have tried everything under the sun, except for caster oil. But if things become desperate there is bottle sitting on the kitchen counter, I just haven't worked up the nerve yet.

Keeping our fingers crossed that nature will hurry up.

Several Mixed Emotions

I know that the pregnancy does have some effect on my emotions and the way I react to things. The two primary emotions are ANGER and SADNESS about the doctor for choosing to push back the date I will meet my son. Mixed in with those are feelings of EMBRASSMENT for telling everyone he would be born yesterday and then having to say "Well, opps! There's been a change of plans".

Even with all those emotions swirling in my head I understand that two simple facts are true:
1)   The doctor is the professioinal, I am not!
2)   He knows what is best for my baby!

Short and Sweet (well, Unsweet)

I am gonna keep this short and too the point. I finally got myself worked up and excited about the possibility of having the baby tomorrow, but when I got to the doctor my husband and I were given some bad news. The doctor said he had hoped that I would have "progressed" (dilated) more, but since I am still at 1 cm he does not want to induce labor tomorrow. And, just to add to the great news we were getting, he informs me that he will be out of town next week and therefore doesn't want me to come back until June 6th. That is two days past my due date!!!! I guess I should have realized that while I am the "eternal optimist" of our household, my husband , the "end-of-the-world pessimist" is ALWAYS right. I guess I need to keep repeating "good things come to those who wait".

My Oldest Graduated Kindergarten

Today is going to be a very hectic and busy day. Our oldest son, Blaine, graduates from Kindergarten this morning and then shortly after lunch we go to the doctor to discuss the birth of the newest addition to our family. I am so nervous about this afternoon and overjoyed about this morning! Congrats to you Wild Child!!

38 weeks and 4 days

I am now to the point that I am counrting the hours until my next doctors appointment when we will find out for sure if they will induce labor a week before my due date or not. While I am excited about the prospects of meeting our new baby I am worried about possible side effects from being induced early and from the pain meds given during labor. With my first son labor was induced a week after my due date (standard precedure), but complication arose during labor from the pain meds given thru my IV. I stopped breathing shortly after the nurse gave me the injection and my son was born with no heartbeat. Luckily, the doctors were able to revive him, but that is NOT an experience I want to go thru again. I have discussed my concerns about the pain medicine with my husband and we have agreed that it will be his call if he feels I need an epidural. I have spent the last few months practicing my meditation skills and I thoroughly believe that I should be able to handle the pain without the help of medication. I know within a 3 day stretch of time exactly when I got pregnant so I feel confident that my due date is accurate. With that said, I am still worried about the fact they will be possible inducing my previous to my due date, but I understand the doctor's reasoning behind inducing me early (my son's head measure nearly 5 weeks ahead of schedule). I have actually toyed with the idea of refusing to be induced, going full term, and then opting for a c-section if my son is too large for me to have naturally. I guess I'll find out for sure tomorrow and will discuss my concerns with the doctor at the time.

Introduction To A 1st Time, 2nd Time Mom

I am a soon-to-be second time mom. My husband and I are happily (and nevously) awaiting the arrivial of our second son in the next week or so. I had hoped to start this blog several weeks ago as a way to vent my worries, share my new experiences, and give insight into any alternative techniques I try this go 'round. Unfortunately I didn't get the courage to start it until yesterday and I am supposed to be induced Thursday. With this child I have decided to take up several enviromentally friendly, and hopefully cost effective, methods of child care including: reusable cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and hand-me-down clothes from my first son. I am also having to face the delima of either being a stay-at-home mom or returning to the workforce and will be introduced to the headache of sibling rivalry. This pregnancy has been very different from my first and I have to admit that it has been very nerve racking. Between trips to the hospital because of extended periods of time without any fetal movement and additional ultrasounds required because of low ambioatic fluid levels, my husband and I have both spent many sleepless nights worried about our baby. Now the count down is on for the few remaining days we have to wait until we meet our little boy.

-Melinda